I need a break

I had a lovely lie in this morning and then sat in bed with some breakfast and my laptop trying to clear email. I then spent a couple of hours with my mother and sister in law plus my nephew and my great niece :-) It was the first time I've seen her - she is so cute.

The afternoon was spent doing those boring things such as ironing etc. But I did make a roast and my daughter and he boyfriend came around to join me for dinner. The evening followed with going to the pub with friends to do a quiz.

I always seem to be reasonably OK during the day but as night time approaches I start to feel low. Don't know why - maybe it sbecause I know I am going to an empty bed. My daughter is home again tonight so that is nice.

Everything in my life is again very busy and in some cases complicated and they are dragging me down - work, school governance on top of not having my husband around to talk things through and to share with. I really miss that - he was a person I could chat these things through with. I'm sure he would be happy to still do so, but I don't feel it is appropraiet to do it - he has his new life now. I feel like I can't let him in to my life and feelings any more. He betrayed me and can't have valued our marriage. I know he is trying to find out from others what I am doing etc. but I don't want him to know - let him stew.....

I would still have him back - but the longer he is gone - I'm not sure how I will feel - I don't want to go through such pain again.

I've asked him to come over tomorrow with the dog (I want to see our dog). I also want to challenge him on what the manipulating ***** had responded to me and try and find out who is lying. I feel an emotional evening coming on :-(

I think I need to go away for a few days and just have some me time to reflect and try to get emotionally sorted so I can give myself permission to be happy and move on. Iona springs to mind - but you have to book that years ahead of time. I'll have to have a think and see what I can come up with.