Well he left today. I I returned from work and there were spaces everywhere where his clothes were, the dogs toys, his bedside cabinet and so on. He even took the two bottles of Whisky he had opened up.
I managed the day at work reasonably well as I was busy and I had some lovely texts from friends thinking of me. But as soon as I got in the car the tears came. I felt so many different emotions all rolled into one - love for him, hate, resent and anger for her, loss and confusion for me. I had a panic attack and had trouble breathing - not a good way to be driving a car. In fact I don't remember the drive home.
He had left the girls and me a letter, a jewellery gift each and two books about getting over relationship breakups. Well I just fell to pieces. Oh and I discovered that he had run up a mobile phone bill of over £300 which I have to pay until he can afford .
He tried to text, call me on Skype, facebook message me - I just ignored them all. I can't talk to him. So going down to rehearsal tonight was awful - I sobbed my heart out when I got there. Thank god for wonderful caring friends who hug you and hold you when you are sobbing. I blanked my husband and ignored him - it was too painful to look or talk to him. He didn't look happy and was texting her throughout the evening (on the pay as you go mobile he bought specially).
My wonderful daugher had made a meal for me when I got back after 11pm as I hadn't eaten much all day. And she had started to do an online Tesco shop for us. My other duaghter has been checking up on me since I got home and another wonderful friend called me for a supportive chat (thanks - you know who you are).
Well I'm off to bed now - I wonder if I will be able to sleep .....
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