In the beginning

On Monday 6th December my husband of over 28 years declared that he is leaving me for another woman. Apparently I have done nothing wrong and he still loves me but is not 'in love' with me.

His affair started around 18 months ago by 'the other woman' contacting and propositioning him on facebook. Now he is no angel as he should have said no - but why would a woman deliberately set out to break up a marriage that was not in trouble just because hers was on the rocks ? To be fair to my husband he told me after I noted that he seemed to be distant - at least I didn't find out via some other route !

We tried twice to make a go of it but both times she managed to come back into his life again opening up wounds and making him think again of her never really giving us a chance. She claims she is 'thick' but I think she targeted him as she could see what a wonderful man is he and wanted him to replace her broken marriage (by her I hasten to add). I also think she is a manipulating *****.

I still love my husband as he is my soulmate and always has been and also was my best friend. So not only has she stolen my husband, she has stolen my soulmate and my best friend.

This blog will hopefully be therapeutic for me and maybe help others who find themselves in a similar situation xx





Friday, 31 December 2010

Last day of a difficult month and of a year I want to forget

I thought I would start this post early and will probably finish it tomorrow.

I started today feeling very down. I woke up after a bad nights sleep having been crying in it and had a swollen eye. My husband has spent most of the day packing stuff whilst I have cleaned the house, giving me loads of time to cry and think about the situation.

We are going out to the theatre tonight having bought tickets for him for a Christmas present. I don't know if it is a good idea or not - but we'll see. A good friend called and said he would pick me up from the station when we return and take me to another friends house for the rest of the evening - he won't take no for an answer...... so I guess I will be going - I hope they realise I will probably be crying for most of it :-(

I will always love my husband and want him back. I will always hate her for the rest of my mortal life. She has already killed me inside. I will continue to live 'a life' but not the one I really want and need and will never find real happiness again as it will always be tinged with sadness. This has changed me irreversibly from a generally smiling happy forward looking person to one who has lost the spark from her and will just go through the motions of life.

Anyhow the show was good - Deathtrap ! My husband and I ended up crying when on the train back. He said he was scared - I think he realises what a big change he is going to and doesn't know if it is the right decision. He once said to me that he wanted us both in his life as he loved us both. I suddenly realised that to do that he had to make this decision. This way he has a chance of doing just that. By staying with me he couldn't stay friends with her. I hate her so much for getting under his skin like that. Her being think and helpless has endeared him to her :-(

I went to spend the last 45 mins of 2010 and the first hour of 2011 with my friends. During that time I managed to drink almost a whole bottle of white wine and two glasses of champagne on an almost empty stomach. Well you can probably guess what the consequences of that were !
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