I took our dog for a long walk in a very snowy and empty park. I do love long quiet walks. I also had a chat with a friend about what the future holds and it was painful :-(
The 'normal' things we did today - wrapped presents for the family as we always do, I drove my husband around some friends house so he could surprise them as santa, he put a CD on for me because he thought I would like to hear it, we had a go at 'Who wants to be a millionaire' together. However I watched the final episode of 'The Nativity' and bawled my eyes out.
Our vicar rang me today for a chat - and asked if he was defintately going or if he might change his mind. I had to be honest and tell him I have never hated anyone (the manipulating *****) in my life like I hate her and that my faith has been knocked. We've agreed to have a chat in the new year. He suggested I read Romans 8.
Whilst looking I found this verse :
Give honour to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery. Hebrews 13:4
I know that others reading this may not be religious - so apologies.
Tomorrow is Christmas Eve - I wonder how that will go. I'm not sure yet if I will go to the midnight service. As both my parents came from Europe I always celebrated Christmas Eve as a child. It was only when we married that we started celebrating both - a family tradition of a special meal and a few presents and then church on Christmas Eve and then the English traditional Christmas Day with sacks etc. I guess this will be that last year that we do that - unless of course my biggest hope and wish come true - that he comes back to me.
The girls both have plans this year to go out after presents - so that will leave my husband and me alone together...... I feel like getting completely drunk but I have to pick up one of my daughters later - so maybe I'll get drunk Christmas day or Boxing Day instead - maybe it will help me get through those days ......
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