In the beginning

On Monday 6th December my husband of over 28 years declared that he is leaving me for another woman. Apparently I have done nothing wrong and he still loves me but is not 'in love' with me.

His affair started around 18 months ago by 'the other woman' contacting and propositioning him on facebook. Now he is no angel as he should have said no - but why would a woman deliberately set out to break up a marriage that was not in trouble just because hers was on the rocks ? To be fair to my husband he told me after I noted that he seemed to be distant - at least I didn't find out via some other route !

We tried twice to make a go of it but both times she managed to come back into his life again opening up wounds and making him think again of her never really giving us a chance. She claims she is 'thick' but I think she targeted him as she could see what a wonderful man is he and wanted him to replace her broken marriage (by her I hasten to add). I also think she is a manipulating *****.

I still love my husband as he is my soulmate and always has been and also was my best friend. So not only has she stolen my husband, she has stolen my soulmate and my best friend.

This blog will hopefully be therapeutic for me and maybe help others who find themselves in a similar situation xx





Monday, 20 December 2010

The 5th Jan is the date

So its agreed - he's going on the 5th Jan. Just over two weeks away ;-( I wonder how I will cope at work on that day knowing he is packing and moving out ?

Today was another up and down day. I saw the tail end of a film when wrapping presents and in it there was a scene between a father and daughter about when his wife walked out on him with their kids. Guess what - I started crying :-(

My husband told some more people today - again shock was expressed.

I'm ashamed to say I have been having all kinds of evil thoughts about 'the other woman' and have been considering either confronting her or writing to her to let her know how I feel about her. It would make me feel so much better, but would it push my husband away more? I have never hated anyone before - hate is such a strong word - but I really know what it feels like now. I feel like she has ripped my heart from me and stamped all over it.

I've accepted that he is going but know January will be a bad month for me. I'm trying hard to find some positives but its not easy. I'm scared that I will turn into a bitter old woman. Its a real sruggle because naturally I am usually smiling, seeing the positives and looking forward to when things will get better, but I can't do any of those at the moment.

The one thing I won't do is let others down and thank God that I have some commitments such as Music Hall and Half a Sixpence. I'm hoping these will help me get through the next few months, with of course my daughters and wonderful freinds.

I don't feel like I want to be happy ever again....... I can't smile without you :-(
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