I managed a full day of meetings at work today somehow. One of my work colleagues asked me how I was and I had to hold the tears back whilst I told him my situation. I feel completely dead inside and am just living each day by going through the motions and in a daze. I seem to have lost my spark - like the ignition has been taken away. My purpose in life is gone.
Getting in the car is awful I start crying every time as I do when I walk from my office to the car. I guess these are the times that I am really alone and have time to think about my life that was and .... well can't really see what it will be apart from sad and lonely.
The girls are not really talking with their dad because they don't know what to say or how to behave.
Inside I just want to curl up in a ball or hibernate like the girl in the film 'ps. I love you'. In the film she is grieving the death of her husband. I guess that is what I am doing too :-(
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