Nine weeks since he left

Today I am suffering with a bad back which also seems to be affecting my knee. This is an old back problem that I have been managing ok over the years so don't know why it has flared up now. I'm walking like an old woman and am in pain even when sitting - not good. Not having my husband around adds extra pressure too. I wonder if it has returned because I am having to move the heavy bins etc. That doesn't bode well :-(

Its been nine weeks since he left - how do I feel now ? I'm no longer crying so much but things that remind me of him and our time together still set me off. I am still not managing living on my own and not getting much needed sleep. I'm getting better at sorting out evening meals but not packed lunches. I'm really behind with my OU and have an assignment to do. Normally I would have it sent in a week in advance. I'm very behind. I have not gone back to church - I think I would still cry there. Friends are still lovely and supportive but the frequency of them getting in touch has gone down. My husband texts me off and on and I haven't really seen him now for a number of weeks. I still  miss him and our dog. I would still have him back, though my daughters would say I am mad. My daughters are still not talking to him. I think I am smiling more - and in fact someone at work said today I seem to be doing very well - I'm a better actress than I thought I was !