In the beginning

On Monday 6th December my husband of over 28 years declared that he is leaving me for another woman. Apparently I have done nothing wrong and he still loves me but is not 'in love' with me.

His affair started around 18 months ago by 'the other woman' contacting and propositioning him on facebook. Now he is no angel as he should have said no - but why would a woman deliberately set out to break up a marriage that was not in trouble just because hers was on the rocks ? To be fair to my husband he told me after I noted that he seemed to be distant - at least I didn't find out via some other route !

We tried twice to make a go of it but both times she managed to come back into his life again opening up wounds and making him think again of her never really giving us a chance. She claims she is 'thick' but I think she targeted him as she could see what a wonderful man is he and wanted him to replace her broken marriage (by her I hasten to add). I also think she is a manipulating *****.

I still love my husband as he is my soulmate and always has been and also was my best friend. So not only has she stolen my husband, she has stolen my soulmate and my best friend.

This blog will hopefully be therapeutic for me and maybe help others who find themselves in a similar situation xx





Sunday, 13 February 2011

A busy day

Today was a busy day with most of it being spent at auditions. I didn't get much sleep as the cats woke me up at 8:30 pawing me for their breakfast, so it'll be an early night tonight to try and catch up on sleep.

My husband caught me on facebook today and chatted about the party last night, the dog (who is being sick) and the fact that I should be better off money wise now he isn't spending it. We'll see.....

Last night and recently made me realise how many of my friends are good friends and how lucky I am to have so many. I wish I could be better at actively keeping in touch with them - I know I am rubbish at that - sorry :-(

I'm still finding my mind wandering when trying to concentrate on things. I'll start thinking about my husband and what he might be doing - or her. This is making it hard for me to study my OU course. On the whole I think I am doing OK now - starting to work out new routines and ways of doing things - however my heart isn't in things. I don't really have the same enthusiasm for everything as I had before, it all feels dampened. I don't know if that is because my husband is not there. He was such a big part of my life. As I've said before - my soulmate, lover, husband and best friend. Not having him around to just chat to is a big thing. I rarely put the TV on and in fact now spend more time in my bedroom with the music on, on the laptop or reading. A bit like my daughters do. In fact when I'm at home I sometimes am in silence - feels very weird.

The man is still sending me messages - still would like to talk on the phone - still being very flattering - I'm still a bit concerned about him. I'm sure he is a very nice man, but I am cautious.

Oh well - off to bed for me now - Valentines day tomorrow - not looking forward to it.............
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