I've been fretting recently about getting my garden nice so I can have friends around for some barbecues this summer but my back has been so bad recently I know I would suffer terribly. The girls and I enjoy barbeques but my husband was never keen on having them and I wanted to do something to thank my friends for being such great support to me over the months. I mentioned this to a friend and he suggested asking a few friends around to sort the garden out. Well - he's gone ahead and organised it and so we are going to have a garden clean up barbecue - I am sooo lucky and grateful.
I have heard from a few friends who have bumped into my husband with the manipulating ***** in tow. The first comment everyone makes is 'she's short' or ' she's a funny thing'. I had a text from him telling me when he was coming to see the next play at the theatre group (alone) and when they are going to see another company's show so I can avoid going on that date. As far as I am aware she rarely went to see shows beforehand - wasn't interested - funny how now she does want to - another example of her wanting my life - and my husband kindly obliging.....
I seem to be crying less now - but everytime he texts me or someone asks me something about him or the situation I feel sad and kind of go into my own world thinking again about what did I do and what could I have done differently. Still no answers :-( And still no signs from God :-( I'm also finding that I reminise about things that have been with my husband - so many memories keep flooding my mind. I feel so sad inside. Sleeping is still a challenge so I've been trying to get to bed earlier. The cat woke me up at around 5am this morning - its getting earlier and earlier. When I get to sleep I do sleep but not completely undisturbed either by my back hurting or the cat, so I'm always tired. I can but hope this will improve.
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