Sorry for not writing for a couple of days but I have been trying to get my next assignment complete to send off. I am not really happy with it - it was a badly designed assignment so not expecting great results. I'm sure my discussion is nonsense !
I had a lovely chat with a good friend whom I haven't seen for sometime - she got me thinking .... its good to have honest friends who tell you as it is and don't say what they think I want to hear - you know who you are - thanks x
One of those things I have been thinking about is the fact that I think my husband had got himself into a rut and couldn't get out of it, so he's used this as an escape route. The sad thing for me is that he didn't feel like he could talk it through with me. He probably would have but circumstances - or should I say the manipulating ***** got in the way of him doing that.
I know I want to try and live life to the full and have some decisions to make over the forthcoming months. I know I want to complete the Psychology degree as after the module I am doing I only have one more mandatory course to do to get the degree and another 30 point module to turn that into a recognised honours degree. So a maximum of two more years after this one. I need to decide what to do about the governors, should I stay or not. Half of me thinks why am I doing this to myself and the other half doesn't want to give in and let others down. I'm not ready to go back to church and don't know if I ever will. I've been trying to decide if I should go on Easter Sunday but think I have come to the conclusion that I won't - maybe next year.
The one thing I do know I want to work towards is freeing up some time to spend it with friends and to spend some more time doing some photography.
My husband came around today to borrow the sat nav and brought the dog for me to see as I haven't seen her in weeks. She was ready for a stroke but not over excited to see me :-( We had quite a good chat though I did end up getting tears in my eyes. I miss the big hugs I used to get from him so enjoyed the hug he gave me. He again reassured me that he would not ask me to sell the house until I want to and that he is not expecting half of the sale, just some share that is fair to cover the money he put into the house. He even said if I was worried he would sign the house completely over to me. That is sooo reasonable. We also talked briefly about wills and I think that I will in a little while sort out us both going to the solicitors to see what we can do to ease my concern in this area.
This is the first time that I have met him face to face and don't feel like I have hit rock bottom again. I still love him and care for him and miss chatting with him. I still hate her with a vengeance for what she has done to us. I would still have him back if he wanted to come back - but it would be with conditions attached. Does that sound bad ?
I asked my daughter if she will ever talk to him again, she said yes but may take a while. He would be happy to know that.She also said that she will never want the manipulating ***** near her or her family. I wonder if that will change ?
:) xxx
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