Well this is the first event since my husband left me - Easter. Normally we would have celebrated by being in church a couple of times, put up an Easter tree and having a family lunch and time together. This year we have no Easter tree, I haven't been and am not going to church (and I don't expect he will either) but I am having both my daughters and their respective boyfriends over for lunch on Sunday. I did consider going to the Easter service on Sunday morning but couldn't bring myself to do so. It really doesn't feel like Easter :-(I'm still cross with God) and have been feeling very up and down again.
Everything feels so different and I haven't yet figured what I like and what I don't like. On Thursday I did the round trip to pick my daughter up from uni. We started to bring things home for her return. I worked from home that day as I wanted to get going as soon as poss after work. My husband appeared at one point with three Easter eggs, one for each of us. he said he thought I had gone to pick our daughter up and was just going to leave then for us. Then he reappeared later with prawns for the cats because I said I don't buy them any (he used to get them some every week). Again he said he thought we had left. Both times he called up to say hello to our other daughter - silence....
My daughters and I are trying to get the garden in order so that we can have some BBQs when the weather is nice so we've been busy doing some of that.
Last might I went to karaoke and got piddled. Then ended up at a friends house continuing with the sing along. I didn't get to bed till 4am. So I've not had much sleep as the cat woke me up at 8 30am for her breakfast and then the postman rang at 9 30am. I did have a dream that felt very very real. My husband appeared in the bedroom gave me a big kiss and then got into bed. I asked what he was doing and he said it was complicated. I then said he needed to go and live with his mum for a few days to see if he really wanted to come back.
I also had a text from him today telling me that they were going to gave a BBQ and I may see her mention it on fb. He didn't want me to see it and think they were inviting all our friends as it was family only. Why does he do that ? It just made me fed up as he never wanted to have BBQs at home.
I hope I will be OK tomorrow. I have taken a few days off work to try and start to sort out his mess in the study.
One thing to look forward to is one of my friends has asked about going away for a summer break :-)
No comments:
Post a Comment