In the beginning

On Monday 6th December my husband of over 28 years declared that he is leaving me for another woman. Apparently I have done nothing wrong and he still loves me but is not 'in love' with me.

His affair started around 18 months ago by 'the other woman' contacting and propositioning him on facebook. Now he is no angel as he should have said no - but why would a woman deliberately set out to break up a marriage that was not in trouble just because hers was on the rocks ? To be fair to my husband he told me after I noted that he seemed to be distant - at least I didn't find out via some other route !

We tried twice to make a go of it but both times she managed to come back into his life again opening up wounds and making him think again of her never really giving us a chance. She claims she is 'thick' but I think she targeted him as she could see what a wonderful man is he and wanted him to replace her broken marriage (by her I hasten to add). I also think she is a manipulating *****.

I still love my husband as he is my soulmate and always has been and also was my best friend. So not only has she stolen my husband, she has stolen my soulmate and my best friend.

This blog will hopefully be therapeutic for me and maybe help others who find themselves in a similar situation xx





Friday, 29 July 2011

Schizophrenia

I've been away all week at my OU residential. It was a very busy week being hard at work all week. The course director told us that we did in a week what a full time student would do in a term. I had hoped I would have some time to reflect on things. I did go to Brighton for the afternoon we had off and wandered around on my own (sleeping on the beach which is stony for an hour!). I actually felt quite lonely. I also can't decide whether I enjoy mad evenings out or relaxing quietly. I think I am changing but very slowly - I need to find the real me as I have been one of two for so long. Which is the real me ??

I keep looking at my bare hands with no ring - it looks so wrong and odd. I had another cry in the car on the way back from Brighton - I still love and miss him :-(

The one thing I did discover when talking with others - many of them had split up from their husbands (mostly due to the men having the affairs) and some were on second marriages. Some of them had been through really rough situations.  It made me realise that I have been so lucky to have been married for so long to a really wonderful man and my life until this year has been relatively stable - yes I've had ups and downs, the deaths of my mum and dad and so on, but with him there supporting me and me him, it has always been possible to work through them. I have no one to do that with now and that is a big gap for me. That makes me more cross with the manipulating ***** for stealing what I had. Is it possible that there is someone out there who could be better ?

I've had no text from him since I responded to his one on Sunday asking why he would send such a text especially as I had been trying hard not to think about it.

The other thing I've realised is that at the moment I can't make any decisions for myself. I am going with the flow and what others do or want to do. I can't seem to commit one way or another without someone else's input. So not like me. I'd like to be like a caterpillar and turn into a chrysalis for a while then wake up as a butterfly that is confident and sure and can soar away determined.
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1 comment:

  1. Me Discovering Me31 July 2011 at 10:22

    Hi Slava. Just wanted to stop by and say hi. I typed you a long note to your post the other day. I was typing on the phone in bed and wasn't logged on and the message ended up getting lost before I posted it. :-(

    Just wanted to say that I do pop in from time to time to see how your roller coaster is going. My ride has been very up and down :-( but I feel, like you, that progress however small is being made.

    Keep going xxx MDM xxx

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