In the beginning

On Monday 6th December my husband of over 28 years declared that he is leaving me for another woman. Apparently I have done nothing wrong and he still loves me but is not 'in love' with me.

His affair started around 18 months ago by 'the other woman' contacting and propositioning him on facebook. Now he is no angel as he should have said no - but why would a woman deliberately set out to break up a marriage that was not in trouble just because hers was on the rocks ? To be fair to my husband he told me after I noted that he seemed to be distant - at least I didn't find out via some other route !

We tried twice to make a go of it but both times she managed to come back into his life again opening up wounds and making him think again of her never really giving us a chance. She claims she is 'thick' but I think she targeted him as she could see what a wonderful man is he and wanted him to replace her broken marriage (by her I hasten to add). I also think she is a manipulating *****.

I still love my husband as he is my soulmate and always has been and also was my best friend. So not only has she stolen my husband, she has stolen my soulmate and my best friend.

This blog will hopefully be therapeutic for me and maybe help others who find themselves in a similar situation xx





Sunday, 31 July 2011

Feeling Low

I can't explain it but I am feeling really low again and close to tears all the time. It started suddenly last night and has been with me all day. I don't understand why ? I just want to be alone and to curl up and ....... could it be that I am depressed ? I'm sure people must think I am being odd especially as it has been nearly eight months since he left me. My friends as usual have been lovely and caring but can't be there all the time - and I don't expect them to be. I think today has been confounded with my daughter splitting up with her boyfriend of over 18 months. She is sad and crying and doesn't know what she wants to do. Makes it hard as I have to be positive and strong for her which is not easy when I am feeling like this.

Most folk around me seem to be doing fun things, going to places and so on with partners and family - I don't feel I have anyone to do that with. I think I am looking forward to my week away in Santorini with my friend - but only think.... I need a break from everything but am not sure whether that will do it for me or not.

Work is manic and unreasonable at the moment and that probably doesn't help.

I don't want to have to think or make decisions.

I feel like I don't belong anymore.
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1 comment:

  1. Me Discovering Me31 July 2011 at 14:46

    I'm definitely joining you on a downer. How awful for your daughter too. Blokes eh. They have a lot to answer for. :-((
    I don't think I go a day without crying.
    I think in the beginning when I saw the similarity between our lives that at least the LOVE OF MY LIFE had stayed. At least that left some chance but now I am feeling that it would have been better if he had left like yours. In the seven months we have been living at the flat to see where it takes us, he has been falling in love with the £85 phone call woman. And is head over heals in love with her. Although I still think he is in love with the Canadian too. The £85 phone call woman is married apparently to the love of her life but spends most of her timing talking to, texting, google+, and DM'ing with my husband. Then there are the photos that have been swapped and some form of video 'sex' going on. Then this weekend after our week in Rome he tells me he loves me. There's no hope apparently for him and her but he is going to continue being friends. He is still drinking excessively and feels I am still not showing him enough love. But I find it really really hard to do that when he has been drinking. He is a different person. Whatever I do or say is wrong and I have realised that I can't go in any longer. Sorry for it all pouring out in your comment box it's been a very upsetting night.

    I really need to try and get to sleep as like you work is a nightmare at the moment and I need my wits about me. But after tonight im just too upset to sleep. :-((

    Will we ever get through this????

    Night
    MDM xxx

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