I need a holiday

So after the Christmas break I was hoping to be able to start to settle down a bit more and get some normality in my life. It is not to be and I am now feeling exhausted and down again. My daughters car is still a worry as she can't start it up and still need a new wheel which means I am worrying a lot about her. However whenever I try and talk to her about anything she responds angrily. She is nt here very much and whilst she is 19 I do still worry about her. She is the messy one around the house and rarely helps with anything unless I specifically ask. She is job hunting and trying to lose weight but she is so hard to communicate with. She was always the one who I could chat about all kinds of things with, but now if I try she really isn't interested. My other daughter is planning her travel this year and will be away for three months from the beginning of March. I'm going to miss her - lots. Work is still stupidly busy despite having passed one programme on. Today I did a 12 hour day getting home about 9:30pm had something to eat and am now in bed. I even had to miss a friends funeral on Thursday to attend a meeting. I was gutted. I'm beginning to think I am incapable of doing my job anymore. My confidence and self esteem is plummeting to a whole new low level. I'm not sure I can make decisions any more. I visited the doctors and got my results back. The good news is there is no evidence of cancer. The bad news is I have an irritable bowel brought on by stress and my glucose is high. The doctor wanted to give me tablets and I didn't want any so am now trying to lose weight. I do need to lose weight but it's so hard when you just grab food when you can. I have the potential of quite a few trips away this year and want to see if I can manage it if work will allow. Friends continue to be supportive and I am endlessly grateful to them xx but I do still miss someone to talk to when I get home or in the moment. I'm also trying but unsuccessfully to start the next OU course. It officially opens tomorrow. Everytime I sit to read I end up falling asleep. The material is interesting I just can't help it :-( I've had to tell some more friends and work colleagues that my husband has left me. More shock from them and more pain from me. One of them asked me if I would have him back and after a year the answer is still yes. I really really need something good to happen to boost my morale - I never thought I would find myself in this victim mode and not know how to get out of it.