In the beginning

On Monday 6th December my husband of over 28 years declared that he is leaving me for another woman. Apparently I have done nothing wrong and he still loves me but is not 'in love' with me.

His affair started around 18 months ago by 'the other woman' contacting and propositioning him on facebook. Now he is no angel as he should have said no - but why would a woman deliberately set out to break up a marriage that was not in trouble just because hers was on the rocks ? To be fair to my husband he told me after I noted that he seemed to be distant - at least I didn't find out via some other route !

We tried twice to make a go of it but both times she managed to come back into his life again opening up wounds and making him think again of her never really giving us a chance. She claims she is 'thick' but I think she targeted him as she could see what a wonderful man is he and wanted him to replace her broken marriage (by her I hasten to add). I also think she is a manipulating *****.

I still love my husband as he is my soulmate and always has been and also was my best friend. So not only has she stolen my husband, she has stolen my soulmate and my best friend.

This blog will hopefully be therapeutic for me and maybe help others who find themselves in a similar situation xx





Tuesday, 21 June 2011

So Empty

I feel so empty.

I've had so many changes enforced on me since the start of this year my head can't think straight anymore.

Politics are abound in the theatre group I belong to and I feel like piggy in the middle - so much so I had to leave early on Sunday and just come home - partly to try and catch up on things and partly to get away from everyone. Yesterday at the first rehearsal of the new show that seems to have been controversially cast I felt nothing despite being asked and told lots of things.

I feel like I am a failure at everything again  - well apart from work which ironically I was due to be leaving for redundancy at the end of the month but now I am considered top talent and have been given a highly emotive, complex, large programme of work to lead.

I went to my last governors meeting tonight. Part of me feels relief at having one less thing to worry about and part of me hurts badly - closing another chapter of my life.

My daughter rightly or wrongly posted on the manipulating *****'s facebook wall a comment to her status that she was missing her dad - she said 'I'm missing my dad too you w****'. You can imagine the fall out from that. My husband tried to call her then texted her a rather vitriolic text followed by a call to me - saying he knew it wasn't me but that it was slander and that her kids could have seen it, and that I would not condone it but that it was out of order etc. etc. He then went on to say he had been on the manipulating *****'s fb account and had deleted the comment, blocked my daughter and changed it so only friends could see her wall. Whilst I don't condone her calling her that publically (and I did speak to her about it) it is amusing to see how the truth can have such an effect.

I just want to be wisked away by someone for a few days and have nothing but fun, not having to think about anything but each minute. And to do some daring, exciting things.

All I can think about is how miserable I am, how much I must seem to be wallowing in my own problems, how I'm an awful friend and can absolutely understand if no one wanted to talk to me at the moment. I want to get out of this rut and move on - normally I would be very positive and forward thinking but I'm stuck I can't get that back at the moment - what needs to happen to get me going again ? I'm still lost :-( 
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