In the beginning

On Monday 6th December my husband of over 28 years declared that he is leaving me for another woman. Apparently I have done nothing wrong and he still loves me but is not 'in love' with me.

His affair started around 18 months ago by 'the other woman' contacting and propositioning him on facebook. Now he is no angel as he should have said no - but why would a woman deliberately set out to break up a marriage that was not in trouble just because hers was on the rocks ? To be fair to my husband he told me after I noted that he seemed to be distant - at least I didn't find out via some other route !

We tried twice to make a go of it but both times she managed to come back into his life again opening up wounds and making him think again of her never really giving us a chance. She claims she is 'thick' but I think she targeted him as she could see what a wonderful man is he and wanted him to replace her broken marriage (by her I hasten to add). I also think she is a manipulating *****.

I still love my husband as he is my soulmate and always has been and also was my best friend. So not only has she stolen my husband, she has stolen my soulmate and my best friend.

This blog will hopefully be therapeutic for me and maybe help others who find themselves in a similar situation xx





Monday, 10 October 2011

A hard day

I've found today really hard. Trying not to think of my husband and him enjoying his 50th birthday with her :-( I've tried to keep busy but it's been upping in and out of my head all day. I woke up this morning with two sets of bruises on my arms again. One in a similar place to before and the other on the upper inside of my arm. Am I doing this to myself in my sleep ? I also feel a bit invisible - no one has noticed or at least mentioned my new hair colour. I've gone from blond to brown so I would have thought it was noticeable! Maybe it is awful and no one wants to say. I've now gone from the bloated feeling back to the sick feeling. I was also reflecting on whether I have had any truly happy times since he left. The answer is yes on the surface but not true inner happiness. Aside from that I am missing the companionship and someone to share things with - good and bad. I do try and share with the girls sometimes but I'm not sure they understand and I dont want to burden them especially the youngest as she is going through her own angst and in some ways rebellion. I can so do without that right now. It is now nearly 1 30 am and my daughter is still out and I am still awake :-( too much to do and not enough hours........
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1 comment:

  1. Me Discovering Me11 October 2011 at 13:55

    Hello, Slava

    Sorry I've not been in touch. You have been on my mind a lot though. I've just looked at email account which is linked to the blog and realised that there is a message from you. That is so strange as I was reading your blog when I went to bed the other night (can't remember which night as everything is a bit of a blur at the moment). I am so sorry to hear that things have still not picked up for you. It does take time. I spent six years crying over my first love and that relationship would have been absolutely nothing compared with yours.

    As you probably guessed with me, if I don't blog then things are bearable or going okay. We hit a massive rock bottom just before we left the flat but managed to turn it around. Gawd knows how. Given where we ended up I can't believe we're still able to be in the same room with each other let alone still together. We've had a couple of wobbles but each time managed to come out okay. It looks like we just didn't talk probably and I didn't stand up for myself and say when I wasn't happy about things. He told me not to start the other night and I'd got to the point where I'd had enough and so I ended up saying, well when would it be convenient to start. I was so shocked at his reaction cause the tone of his voice always scared me and I used to just back off but he was okay and told me I must tell him as he just had his head up his arse. So now I feel able to talk to him about anything and he is being really receptive and it has made all the difference. He is drinking again but I have been able to talk to him and tonight he has not had a drink so that is really good. Time is just flying by and none of us seem to have much energy. I'm struggling just to get up, go to work, go to bed and do it all over again. Haven't got much get up and go at the moment.

    I don't know what advice to give you given everything you are going through at the moment :-(

    I wish I knew what to say to you. Wish I could wave a magic wand. :-((

    Try and rest were you can and keep an eye on your stress levels. Try not to think about the future or the past really. That's what the love of my life keeps telling me. Just focus on the here and now. What went before is gone and keep going over it is only torturing myself and keep worrying about the future is a waste of time - like borrowing problems that might never happen. He keeps having to remind me everyday though. He keeps saying just take each day at a time so that's what I am trying to do.

    Love
    MDM

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