In the beginning

On Monday 6th December my husband of over 28 years declared that he is leaving me for another woman. Apparently I have done nothing wrong and he still loves me but is not 'in love' with me.

His affair started around 18 months ago by 'the other woman' contacting and propositioning him on facebook. Now he is no angel as he should have said no - but why would a woman deliberately set out to break up a marriage that was not in trouble just because hers was on the rocks ? To be fair to my husband he told me after I noted that he seemed to be distant - at least I didn't find out via some other route !

We tried twice to make a go of it but both times she managed to come back into his life again opening up wounds and making him think again of her never really giving us a chance. She claims she is 'thick' but I think she targeted him as she could see what a wonderful man is he and wanted him to replace her broken marriage (by her I hasten to add). I also think she is a manipulating *****.

I still love my husband as he is my soulmate and always has been and also was my best friend. So not only has she stolen my husband, she has stolen my soulmate and my best friend.

This blog will hopefully be therapeutic for me and maybe help others who find themselves in a similar situation xx





Monday, 13 February 2012

So far 2012 hasn't been all that positive

I had another very emotional week last week. Feeling a failure and that everyone hates me. I am sure that I am alienating everyone. People are getting fed up with me being so emotional. It just feels again that no matter what I do I get a smack in the face. I thought 2012 would be better and I had planned to be so positive, but if anything it is worse. I have no energy, can't be bothered about anything, can't motivate myself and just going through the motions with tears flowing a lot of the time. Does, has anyone else felt like this for so long ? As I've said everyone has ear own problems and their own lives to lead and I get that. However I feel so lonely, unloved and unatractive. The girls are out often and as I have only a small part in the next show, have no rehersals this week. I have my assignment to write but am struggling to build up the enthusiasm to do anything. I'm going to bed earlier that I have ever done on a regular basis. I'm off to the US on business net week. That will be a hard week with no time out to do anything. I had dinner with a few friends on Saturday, oh I do miss the company and someone to talk to. I had planned a few trips this year but they are all unsure so I don't know what will happen. I wanted to go to the cinema this week but have no one to go with. I said to my daughter I was going to go on my own, she was shocked. I'm also thinking of booking myself on a holiday on my own. Maybe to Ireland. I'm definitely becoming reclusive as I can't be bothered to go out. Ive also started comfort eating which I have never done before. Won't be good for the diabetes :-( oh shit what have I turned into ............ One positive thing to note, my youngest daughter got called back or a second interview for a job she is owing to. They told her that she did a brilliant interview :-) I'm so pleased for her. That was the first excitement I have felt so far this year.
Posted by at

1 comment:

  1. Me Discovering Me15 February 2012 at 01:51

    I so wish I could wave a magic wand. I can see you spiralling down. You have to find something to boost you up you really do. I just don't know what to suggest. Do you have any hobbies where you could meet a new group of people who don't know you from before and will accept you as you are and help lift you up? Have you considered genealogy? Genealogists and family historians have always been the most friendly, helpful and supportive people. You're very much a family person and it might help to discover your ancestors stories. It can help you see how you fit into the world. I've been addicted to it for over 26 years and sometimes there is this incredible feeling that builds up inside of me at the thought of hunting for my ancestors. There is a thriving family history community on Twitter. Love MDM

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)