In the beginning

On Monday 6th December my husband of over 28 years declared that he is leaving me for another woman. Apparently I have done nothing wrong and he still loves me but is not 'in love' with me.

His affair started around 18 months ago by 'the other woman' contacting and propositioning him on facebook. Now he is no angel as he should have said no - but why would a woman deliberately set out to break up a marriage that was not in trouble just because hers was on the rocks ? To be fair to my husband he told me after I noted that he seemed to be distant - at least I didn't find out via some other route !

We tried twice to make a go of it but both times she managed to come back into his life again opening up wounds and making him think again of her never really giving us a chance. She claims she is 'thick' but I think she targeted him as she could see what a wonderful man is he and wanted him to replace her broken marriage (by her I hasten to add). I also think she is a manipulating *****.

I still love my husband as he is my soulmate and always has been and also was my best friend. So not only has she stolen my husband, she has stolen my soulmate and my best friend.

This blog will hopefully be therapeutic for me and maybe help others who find themselves in a similar situation xx





Saturday, 5 November 2011

Coming out of the depths of depression

At last I feel like I am coming out of the last few very very depressing weeks. It was so bad at times I started to plan how I could end it all. However I couldn't find a way to do it so that either a member of the public or my girls would have to find me and thus affecting them psychologically. Anyhow the last few days I have started to feel a little more like myself. I finally had something positive happen at work on Thursday - and I have some wonderful friends - I really don't know how I would manage without them. I still can't bring myself to just call when I feel down as I don't like to bother people. 

I had a really surreal experience yesterday. I was working from home when the doorbell rang. It was my husband all cheery and with some bags but as I was working and on the phone I had to say I needed to get back. However from the corner of my eye I could see that he had taken his coat off and had wondered into the kitchen and was doing something in there. For one moment it felt like everything had been a big nightmare and it was back to 'normal'.  Anyhow I went into the kitchen and he was unpacking the bags he had. He had brought me a whole load of my favourite German foods and a birthday present (my birthday is next week). I was speechless ! Talk about mixed messages. I didn't know what to say and the tears started to roll after he siad - don't start crying. He told me it was for my birthday as he knows I don't bother with getting things for myself. Considering he is short of money and he only gave our daughter £20 for her birthday this week and I didn't give  him a birthday present - I now feel very guilty. He has a knack of doing this to me :-( What am I supposed to do ??

I had a lovely evening yesterday with friends, probably the best evening I have had for a long time. 

I also love my hairstylist. She has recently been through a breakup with her boyfriend of some years. But she is such a strong young lady with a very mature head. She and my friends have been saying that my husband is doing these things for a number of reasons - guilt, keeping his option opens and so on. I don't believe he is deliberately doing thus - he isn't thinking what he is doing. My hairstylist quite rightly said to me that I wouldn't think he can do anything wrong. 

It is ten months now and I would still have him back. 

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