In the beginning

On Monday 6th December my husband of over 28 years declared that he is leaving me for another woman. Apparently I have done nothing wrong and he still loves me but is not 'in love' with me.

His affair started around 18 months ago by 'the other woman' contacting and propositioning him on facebook. Now he is no angel as he should have said no - but why would a woman deliberately set out to break up a marriage that was not in trouble just because hers was on the rocks ? To be fair to my husband he told me after I noted that he seemed to be distant - at least I didn't find out via some other route !

We tried twice to make a go of it but both times she managed to come back into his life again opening up wounds and making him think again of her never really giving us a chance. She claims she is 'thick' but I think she targeted him as she could see what a wonderful man is he and wanted him to replace her broken marriage (by her I hasten to add). I also think she is a manipulating *****.

I still love my husband as he is my soulmate and always has been and also was my best friend. So not only has she stolen my husband, she has stolen my soulmate and my best friend.

This blog will hopefully be therapeutic for me and maybe help others who find themselves in a similar situation xx





Sunday, 24 July 2016

Today would have been my 34th wedding anniversary

Wow - its been nearly three months since I last wrote - so what prompted me to write today ? Today would have been my 34th wedding anniversary :-(

Whilst I am happy for my friends who are still in a long term relationship it hurts me every time someone mentions their xx anniversary and how much they love their partner. I know I should be getting over it by now and I have not spoken or seen my ex for a number of months now but unless you have been in a similar situation I dont think you can understand the hurt.

I have had cause to tell two (newish) friends what happened. The first time I ended up sobbing again :-( at least I held it together for the second. Everyone always tells me how brilliantly I have done and how my life is better now and wouldn't be the same if I was still with him - even my daughters say the same.

Yes - I am enjoying doing lots of different things but often these are on my own and it does get lonely. Its not the same when you dont have someone to share or discuss it with. I also hate having to make so many decisions on my own. I'm naturally someone who likes to talk things through. I appreciate having my daughters to do this with - but they are not always there and I don't like to burden them with every thing.

I thought I was doing quite well at being positive but my youngest daughter keeps saying I am still being negative. It is so hard as you want them to be happy and see you happy but when you are still hurting it doesn't always go as you had planned.

I am grateful for what I do have and wouldn't change that for the world, but I would love to share it with someone who wants to be in my company. I want someone to care for me and surprise me and someone to do fun things with. I don't know if that will ever happen again.

So on I continue with my life as it is. I feel something is missing at the moment - not sure what - an intellectual challenge, a companion, more routine ? I feel like I am waiting for something to happen and then feel like I should grasp something and do it........but what ???
Posted by at

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)