Starting to move on...... Maybe ?

I am sitting here on my own watching the Olympics closing ceremony and bawling my eyes out - why ? Relief maybe that the work I did seemed to all go ok with no crises. Still have the Paralympics to go but all being well - fingers crossed. Having said that over the last three weeks I have been working at the weekends and also was working late at night during the opening ceremony. The last text being at 00:30. I still find it emotional talking about my husband leaving me :-( sigh ....

I am on my own quite a lot these days and am starting to get used to it a bit more now. I do worry though that I will get selfish.

I've decided that I just have to go and do things on my own if necessary. I did have tickets to the horse jumping at Greenwich and took my sister in law along. It was a lovely day :-) I've always wanted to see Ragtime the musical and it is on at regents park theatre. I tried to find someone to go with me but gave up and got one ticket just or me. It felt odd buying just one ticket. Anyhow I'm going now. It'll be a bit of an adventure as will my holiday to Ireland on my own.

It's all change at work again. My interim boss has moved on and so the senior VP is now looking after our group. He has suggested that there may be some more changes and that we'll know in September.

I've started to make some changes in the house now I guess it'll help me move on. However I was disturbed by a call received from my husband telling me  that he was applying for job seekers allowance and had been asked if he had a house, so he had to say that he joint owned the house. He assured me that he also told them that his daughters and wife were living in the house and that I was paying all the bills, mortgage and everything and that it will not be up for sale. We'll see what happens.

A friend of mine said to me recently that he thought that my husband had been targeted by the manipulating ***** , will he ever realise that ? Someone else also said it wont last. Sometimes I feel sorry for him especially as he hasn't had much luck finding a job. But why do I still feel it is my fault and I have to suffer ? I have flashes of I must start to believe in myself and allow myself a break and have fun and do things. But these are in fits and starts, maybe soon I can move on fully ?