In the beginning

On Monday 6th December my husband of over 28 years declared that he is leaving me for another woman. Apparently I have done nothing wrong and he still loves me but is not 'in love' with me.

His affair started around 18 months ago by 'the other woman' contacting and propositioning him on facebook. Now he is no angel as he should have said no - but why would a woman deliberately set out to break up a marriage that was not in trouble just because hers was on the rocks ? To be fair to my husband he told me after I noted that he seemed to be distant - at least I didn't find out via some other route !

We tried twice to make a go of it but both times she managed to come back into his life again opening up wounds and making him think again of her never really giving us a chance. She claims she is 'thick' but I think she targeted him as she could see what a wonderful man is he and wanted him to replace her broken marriage (by her I hasten to add). I also think she is a manipulating *****.

I still love my husband as he is my soulmate and always has been and also was my best friend. So not only has she stolen my husband, she has stolen my soulmate and my best friend.

This blog will hopefully be therapeutic for me and maybe help others who find themselves in a similar situation xx





Tuesday, 24 July 2012

I feel sick

I've woken up this morning and feel physically sick. It would have been our 30 year wedding anniversary. Well I guess it is because we are still married but not together. I've been trying not to think about it but its been popping up in my head over the last week. Despite it being beautiful and sunny outside which usually makes me more positive I feel really down today. I've been trying to hate him for what he has done but I still can't. I don't like what he has done to me. How could someone who loves you put you through something like this? Even just a friend wouldn't hurt you in this way. I keep trying to tell myself that but then I end up in tears because I still love him. Even after 18 months of him having gone I love him. I'm trying so hard to do new things and move on. I even tried a dating site for about three days and then got scared and deleted my account. Work though having got better for the moment is not where I want to be anymore. I'd love to find another job but I can't afford to as I have the mortgage and debts I've been left with still to pay. Maybe in a few years time. I so need a holiday ! I've even started playing the lottery to try and win loads of money - I've never done that before. I'm off to work now so hopefully that will take my mind off things for a bit.
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