Hasn't the weather been brilliant over the last few days. Being in the sun makes so much difference to me - makes me happier :-) However I haven't been sleeping well for some reason and am going through a phase of being very tired. I'm finding my energy so low - I hope that is not a sign of getting the diabetes I was borderline with..... I was particularly down on Mothers day last Sunday. My eldest daughter left me a card to open and my youngest gave me a card and a lovely plant. However she slept over at her boyfriends and only came back at around 1pm, stayed for 30 mins and then went out again - I felt so alone and unwanted :-(
I have had some small steps forward over the last two weeks. I managed to find someone to come in every two weeks to help me keep the garden in shape - I love my garden when it is nice and I can sit in it. Only problem is I have an assignment to do and until I have that completed I can't relax. In fact Saturday was the first time since I started my OU that I wanted it to be over :-( Just over a year and then hopefully all being well I will have finished. I also managed to find someone to come and fix my my fence and back gate which has completely fallen off its hinges.
I had a bit of a worry last week as I hadn't heard from my daughter for three days despite me sending her texts and Skype messages. Thankfully she contacted me to say she had been on a boat and had no credit on her phone. Sadly her boyfriend who was also travelling for four months had to come back to the UK on Friday as he got a bite of some sort that he ended up having to have an op on to get the poison out. He was suffering and had to have his leg packed daily, so he managed to get back to the UK on his insurance - thank god for having the insurance.
My youngest daughter completed her apprenticeship last week and had her 'graduation' ceremony on Saturday. I am very proud of her :-) She didn't invite her father so I don't know how he feels about that. Her and I have been having some good chats recently when she is around. We had a particularly good one when she was drunk ! She has now started a new job with Saga Care and is training this week.
At last I booked my trip to Germany for May. Its a little scary going on my own.......
I had a fun rehearsal for the Best Little Whorehouse in Texas yesterday. I have a small character to play and enjoyed doing the acting and dancing. I worked so hard I was shattered at the end! The Expo was cancelled which is such a shame as we were sounding good. The next thing I am performing is Titanic the musical on the 14th April which is the 100th anniversary of its sinking. I think it will be an emotional evening - but first I have to learn the words !!
I don't hear much from my husband these days. Such a change from before when he was in contact almost daily. I'm not sure how I feel anymore. Maybe I'm in denial..... I try not to think about it but I'm regularly bumping into people who don't know. Three in the last week. I get the odd glimmer of anger about what he has done and how he has damaged my confidence and self esteem all for that manipulating *****. I also think he must be a coward - if he was unhappy or there was a problem, he could have said anything but he didn't. So either there was nothing or he ran away. I still get the feeling that something will happen from his end - either around money or her. The fact he is quiet is making me very nervous....... and I am getting angry while writing this!!!!!!!!
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