I've just returned from a business trip this morning the find the Decree Absolute in my post. My marriage was officially dissolved on 9th October 2013. I am sitting here writing this in floods of tears . I am now single again, no longer a Mrs. I always knew this would be difficult for me as I still love him and still don't understand why he left me. I got a text from my husband whilst I was away on holiday saying that he had heard from his solicitor that everything was concluded and the decree absolute was forthcoming. He specifically said 'I want you to know that I'm not celebrating it but I do think its a relief to be finally done. It means we both know where we stand financially and hopefully can allow you to love on. Thank you for not making it any more difficult than these things have to be. I hope that we an always stay on friendly terms for the sake of each other and the girls'.
I guess I'll have to try and move on now - somehow. I was feeling low anyway and this has just plummeted me down to some horrible place I have been in over the last few years. I hope I can dig myself out of it quickly.
It's been two months since I last posted on this blog and quite a lot has happened.... I noted in the last post about the various theatre trips, parties etc. that I had coming up and they all came and went and were very nice.
I got notice that the court approved the financial split between my husband ( I should should say ex now...) so that was a relief. I now just need to pay what I owe him by April 2015. Not quite sure how I'll make that happen yet but I am going to get some financial advice to see if I can work it out.
I had my holiday in Kenya which was fantastic. I was overwhelmed by the safari and am so glad to have done it. I also got to see how they live and all the poverty around. We were fortunate to be able to go to a school with around 60 children in a room not much bigger than my living room. The teacher was a lady who had retired but took it upon herself to do this. She gets 3 Kenyan shillings for each child a year. Thee are approx . 125 shillings to the pound.... We then visited a private school which had classes for children up to around 16. Cost is approx. £40 per term for each student. The difference was vast, but still they were not as privileged as the children in our schools in the UK.
I also went on a couple of guided walks and one took us past the local homes. When you go for walks there a&e a number of young lads from the village who join and chat to you. Of course they want to sell you something but they firstly explained all the things you saw such as cashew trees, the houses and how they cook ( on open fires) etc. the lad who walked with me was called James and he said he was James Bond(!). Anyhow I did by some hand engraved key rings on which he put names on for me. I ordered them in the morning on the walk and he had them for me in the afternoon at 4pm. They were well done. I asked what he will use the money for and he said to buy flour for cooking for his family as he had to support his elderly parents to whom he introduced me to. It's a big problem for the country - how can they manage to help all those people who live in self built mud huts etc.
I've also been on a business conference based on a p&o ship. Whilst the conference is very good I got quite home sick and started to think about what I want in life. I'm not sure I want the job I am in at the moment. I need a change but now cannot afford to. The company does offer something called a 'pulse' assignment where you work on full pay for six months with one of the charities that the company supports. These can be in their London office or in the field in Africa, India or South America. I have floated the idea past my boss and he hasn't said no. I'm thinking of applying as it may be a good change for me. If I do that will start next June.
I need to sit down now and make a plan for what I want to do with my life now.
It is still hard having to decide and do things alone. For instance I came home from my holiday to find out that the kitchen door hinge broke when my daughter slipped on the floor and hit it. I now need to find a carpenter!!
Oh I forgot to mention I reached my target and have lost almost six stone in weight :-)
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