Gosh it's over twelve years now !

It's been a few years since I posted so thought it might be time for an update.

I've been with my boyfriend now for five and a half years !! And it's been wonderful. He makes me so happy and we laugh together every single day. I always thank my lucky stars that he came into my life when he did.

Since my last post we have travelled, shared many amazing experiences and have never had a cross word. He makes me feel wanted and loved so very much. 

He finally moved in with me at the beginning of 2021, so it's been two years already! 

My youngest daughter and his youngest both got married last year, both of them delayed from 2020. My eldest gets married in September this year.

I became a grandmother for the first time in May 2020 - she's three years old now - how time flies. My second a grandson was born in August 2022 and my partners youngest had her first in March this year. Between us we now have five grandchildren, four girls and a boy.

We had a fabulous three week trip in a motorhome to New Zealand in 2019 to celebrate our special birthdays that year. In late 2020 we bought ourselves a caravan - our first joint purchase - and enjoy travelling with it but not frequently enough really. 

As for my ex and his wife (the one he left me for), I only see them at family events. It does stick in my throat that she is a 'Nanny' to my grandchildren. I will never forgive her for the pain I experienced due to her. 

Despite that I am much much happier in my relationship than I was with my ex. I didn't think we had a bad relationship but I also didn't realise I could be in a much better one. We laugh together every day and are very open and honest with each other. 

Life can be better after a traumatic event but it does take time and can hurt for a while. The memories of that pain are still with me but counterbalanced every day with the wonderful man I am with and the family around me. 

8 years later and 18 months on

So here I am 8 years on since my ex left me for the woman he was having an affair with and who he married a few years ago. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 18 months now and couldn’t be happier 😀 We spend every weekend together and he also comes over on a Wednesday so we can do our radio show together which incidentally we are told works very well with us both as we bounce off each other. We love each other very much and it all just works so well - we haven’t yet found anything that annoys us about each other. I believe we will be together now forever. One day we will move in together but at the moment that is not possible as his work is over 60 miles away - however we are making my house our home. We have since December been sorting my loft out that was a big worry for me. It’s taken since then to get it cleared and sorted. We much have given around 100 bags of things to charity and have taken loads of things to the dump. The next project is to turn one of the bedrooms into a ‘hobby room’ for us.

I saw my ex again at my daughters post grad gratduation and we went to a pub for lunch with my daughter and her fiancé ( ooh yes I forgot to mention my daughter is getting married in 2020 !). As he had been dropped off at the graduation and had no car I drove us all back. It was a bit weird I have to say but we chatted civilly and I had no feelings for him at all. I know he has wanted from day one to stay friends but I couldn’t have anything to do with the woman who broke our family up and still can’t. I am ok talking with him and have always been polite and not made a scene for the sake of my girls. Following that my sister in law invited my boyfriend and me to a games evening at hers which my ex and his wife were also going to. My ex did go but his wife didn’t but it did mean that my ex and my boyfriend met each other for the first time. It was all very pleasant and I felt some relief at that.

We have a wedding coming up later this year where the four of us will be in the same room together. I don’t have a problem with that as my boyfriend will be by my side but I will not have anything to do with my ex’s wife. In eight years I have never seen them together so I guess it’s better done in advance of my daughters wedding next year.

Health wise the muscular problems I have had are almost gone. I think the suggestion it was a virus was probably right. It’s taken around two years to get to this point from the start of the pains. I lose about half a stone in weight doing a four week detox and now my target is to get back to my pre problems fitness by the end of the year and to get my weight down to a comfortable place by my daughters wedding.

In three weeks time we are off for a tour of New Zealand for nearly four weeks. I’m so excited and know it will be amazing.

I always said that when I get to a happy place I would take this blog and turn it into a book. That day I think is fast approaching. I want it to be a book of hope to others who may be going through what I have over the years.

Oh wow ......

I can’t believe I last posted in January ! Well here we are in the middle of May and I’ve been together with my wonderful boyfriend for nine months now and we are still very much  in love with each other ❤️

I keep wondering if the bubble will burst at some point but our relationship is still full of fun, laughter and lots of love. We are still finding things out that we think the same on or like. We seem to match so well 😁

I saw my ex at my daughters graduation. He tried to make small talk but it felt like he was trying to get one up on me by telling me about all the gigs he had been to and we’re going to. I couldn’t be bothered with ‘competing’ so reponded politely.

My exes bother sadly died recently after a years battle with cancer - he was only 55. I had planned to go to the funeral but my ex called and said his brothers wife didn’t want me to come so would I consider not going ? I didn’t go but sat alone sobbing after the call as I really wanted to pay my respects as I had known him for around 40 years. Anyhow I agreed not to go as I knew everyone was hurting from his untimely death and I didn’t want to make it more difficult.

The day after the call, the deceased wife messaged me and said I could come, but I decided not to as I felt it would be awkward for all and I didn’t want that to overshadow the day. It transpires that it was my ex that caused the issue rather than the deceaseds wife - told to me by both my exes sisters and the wife. My guess is the manipulating ***** had been involved in some way. Or maybe it was because she was unwell too and they didn’t want to risk a confrontation.  I heard after the event that she recently had a mastectomy.  I would have never caused a scene at such an event even though it would have been the first time I would have seen them together since he left.

On a more positive note I am sooo enjoying my life at the moment. My boyfriend and I do so much together including sorting things out in the house. We’ve sorted and decorated the two bedrooms that the girls had and they are now turned into beautiful guest rooms. The garage has been sorted out and I’ve told him he can bring his motorbike down and put it in there plus his boxes he has in storage to save him some money. We work well together and  he is so clever and talented being able to put his hand to anything!

We spend every weekend together and he comes down in a Wednesday to do the radio show together. It’s been so much fun presenting together that we’ve slightly rebranded the show to include him.

A friend recently said that we look so happy and have the same smiles in all our photos. I truley believe that we are meant to be together 😀

Seven years tomorrow

Tomorrow will be seven years since my ex left me for the manipulating *****.  Do I care anymore ? Hmmm definitely not from the perspective of do I miss him or want him back as I am now in a very happy, caring, trusting relationship with a man who loves me for who I am and continually tells me that even after nearly five months from our first date. I hate personal failure and still feel I failed somehow as another woman stole my ex. But I'll have to get over that and I believe my fantastic boyfriend will help me with that healing process.

We both posted on Facebook that we were in a relationship with each other. I've had so many lovely comments from people saying how happy we look together and how happy they are for us - that brings a tear to my eye to know how much people really care about me - I'm rather overwhelmed with the love from everyone :-D

I've had a few people also say that its 'official now - it must be as its on Facebook' ! Facebook is now seen as such an important and defining medium ..... ironic really as it was Facebook that the manipulating ***** used to get her claws around my ex initially.

We have so many great plans for 2018 together and both believe we are in this relationship for teh long term - so lots to be excited about.

Happy New Year !! Wishing any readers a fantastic 2018 - I know mine will be :-))))

And life is still good :-)

Well here we are almost at Christmas 2017.

It is now seven years since my ex told me he was leaving and in January it will be seven years since he left. Seven years ago he was moving his things out of the house and meeting with the manipulating ***** and her kids. Despite this I was determined that it wouldn't spoil Christmases for us in future and I've had lovely times with my girls.

This year will be so special as I will be with my boyfriend of five months and things are going so brilliantly with us both. I feel so lucky to have found someone who is so compatible in many many ways :-D

I have now met his mum and two daughters with their partners and it all seemed to go well. I thought they were all lovely and hopefully they thought the same of me.

We do so much together and everything is magical. I now have a purpose in life again......

Since the last post the show I was directing has finished and it got lots of good feedback from the audience, It was a very stressful experience. It has along with other things that have happened sadly made me less likely to do anything else with this group which is a shame as I have been a member for around 17 years.  I do miss performing however so may have to find another group to join.

My new man has joined me on my live radio show and that is making it so much fun ! We seem to work well as a double act plus we have been on video via facebook live during the show and that seems to be popular.

The trip with my daughter to Costa Rica was great and we really enjoyed ourselves though I did miss my boyfriend - that must be telling me something mustn't it ? It was so lovely to be with my daughter over those 9 days. I love my girls so very much and any time with them is special for me.

My youngest moved out and is living in her first flat with her boyfriend now. Something they had planned for a while. I'm really pleased for them both but it does make the house feel very empty and lonely for me when I'm alone in the evening. Even though we were passing ships it was nice to know someone else was in the house. My boyfriend lives a 45 min drive away and works the night shift an hour away so I tend to see him at weekends and on Wednesdays for the radio show.

Health wise I saw the Rheumatologist in October and it was good news in that she didn't think I had anything major. Her view was that because I have danced for years my muscles were now compensating for my joints which were less supple due to age. Apparently athletes commonly have such issues, Now whilst I'd like to think I was pretty flexible I dont think I can compare myself to an athlete ! So I dont really buy into this diagnosis. The Osteopath seems to think the pain in my arms is due to an impingement in my shoulders which women often get in later years. A good friend who is a GP but also was a microbiologist has a different theory which seems more likely to me - she suggests that I caught a virus that has affected my muscles and that this time next year I will be fine again. The pain has significantly improved - it is a year now since it started. I still do have stiffness and pain but some days are really good and some not so good - but at least it seems to be improving all the time :-) I keep telling my boyfriend he is good medicine for me ;-p

The last few days I have been feeling very emotional and in tears - I have no idea why as I feel very happy at the moment - perhaps because I am on my own on the run up to Christmas ? Or maybe I am leaving the last chapter behind now and am grieving that in preparation for the new one ?

I always thought I would write this blog until I had found my new happy place - I think I am getting there :-) And maybe when I have a happy ending I'll turn this into a book for all those who find themselves in the same position in their lives......

Wow what an amazing few months !!

i hadn’t realised it’s been three and a half months since I last posted ! Time does go quickly when you are having fun and are happy  😃

So picking up from the last post.....

Feeling pretty fed up about the man situation I decided to take a break from it but one of my friends suggested I try Zoosk as she had lost of success with it. I did join along with another friend but really if I am honest to support her as she was going through a tough relationship time. Most of the guys who came through did not meet my small number of criteria one of them being distance. Eventually I met one guy for a cuppa - nice but no spark. One guy was very honest and said he thought we were after different things .....  then I was chatting with two guys who both seemed very nice. I planned to meet with them both and in the same day they both called off the dates. One because he said he had realised an old friend had meant more to him than he realised and didnt think it right to meet up - I appreciated the fact he was very honest and a gentleman. The second had damaged his finger and ended up being admitted to hospital. I did wonder at the time if that was an excuse not to meet with me. So I thought hey ho no problem I’ll give up looking and just enjoy my single life.

Anyhow the guy with the finger did contact me again and we met the following week. There was an immediate spark between us - we got on so well and he was totally honest with me telling me all of his background and said that is him and if that put me off then at least I could make a decision to end it then.

I didn’t - all stuff was in the past and we seemed to get on really well with lots in common. Well now it is nearly three months since our first chat online and we have had a whirlwind relationship. I have never felt like this before about someone - yes even my ex at the beginning - it is such a different experience. I never thought I would feel such a strong attraction to someone so quickly. I assumed friendship then a growing love over time but how wrong could I be!

We have done so much together including travelling on a weekend photography trip to Germany together. It was one I had booked in March, but when I mentioned I was going on it he asked if it would be ok if he went too.

It all feels very fast but so right...... both of us have a number of times put our ‘sensible logical’ hat on to question how quickly things have developed and both agree because it feels right and we do have so much in common including values etc. that we will go with it.

I have already introduced him to many of my friends and so far they all think he is great. I’ve met a couple of his friends too. My two daughters have met him and seem to like him and they are happy that he makes me happy. I have yet to meet his daughters or family but one of his daughters is aware and he is planning to tell his mum and other daughter this coming weekend.

This feels so good and so right. I hadn’t realised how much I had missed having someone as a partner who cared for me. I know my daughters and friends care and look out for me and I love them all for being there for me and caring about me. Having a relationship is different and seems to make things more complete.

So ...... I have great hopes that he is the one for me to live my life out.....we have already booked another photography trip for next May !

In other news : I had a lovely week at the theatre summer school and have booked on next years week in August.

My youngest daughter started her new job along with working towards a masters degree. I’m so proud of her. My eldest is coming with me on holiday in November to Costa Rica - I’m really excited that she wanted to come with me.

The show I have been directing has been pretty stressful but will be a great show. One week to go and then it’ll be on stage. In two weeks time it will all be over! But I am directing a new play by a local author starting at the end of the month which will be exciting.

I’ll probably take a break from the theatre group I belong to for a number of reasons and see how it all goes....  want to spend more time with my man - must be good as I never thought I’d not be doing things with the group. The atmosphere is changing there too so it is a good time for a break.

My radio show has gone live again recently - changes there too with working towards goimg DAB.

Weight wise I need to lose a stone.... I really need to work hard to do that.....

My pains have improved from its worst after starting to take L- Glutamine. I’m a bit more achey today but possibly due to the all night dancing my man and I did at a friends party! I finally have an appointment with the rheumatologist on 18th October - ten months after the problems started and over six months from being referred ! I’m a little scared about what he will say and really don’t want to go on any medication, but it will be good to know why I’m having the pains, treatment and longer term prognosis.

Well that’s all for now from a much happier me 😁

OMG !!! What a week.....

OMG !!! What a week.....

Well..... I met another guy via the dating site at the beginning of May and it seemed to be going ok though there was something that didn't feel quite right to me so my guard was still up. I thought maybe it was just me because I struggle trusting folk since my ex did what he did for me. Anyhow last night I was contacted by a lady who claims to have dated this chap and that he had conned her out of money. She said she had been contacted the day before by another lady who told her about a lots of bad things and lies he had done to a number of women. She contacted me and many others he had as Facebook friends to warn them. I was a bit cautious at the beginning as I wasn't sure if it was just a previous date who was jealous or something. Anyhow as the conversation went on I decided to text him to say I had been contacted and to ask some questions. He came back on the defence initially but eventually when I challenged him to explain a few things including an article I found suggesting he had been done for Fraud and why he still had two profiles on the site though he said he had come off completely I have not heard back from him. I have to admit its rather scary as he knows where I live. I've told most of the friends who knew I was seeing him that it was over.

Thankfully I've already had a special video bell and CCTV installed for protection.......

I'm directing a show for my local theatre group and last week I had someone in the cast who is alcohol dependant accuse me of being discriminatory and was very rude and threatening. Since that she has apologised profusely as she was under the influence, but that shook me up as I try and support and help everyone. Needless to say she has decided not to do the show now.

And then I hear that my ex's brother has stage four pancreatic cancer which has spread to the stomach and spleen :-( Very sad. My ex happened to be down at the theatre group last night and he has lost lots of weight but I think he looked ill. It annoys me that despite me trying to help him lose weight lots of times he never really tried and now he does !

I've still not had an appointment with the Rheumatologist but the pains seems to be getting less which is a good thing. I certainly felt much better in the hot weather. It feels like the pain has been on a curve which reached its peak around March so if the curve is equal I might be better in July. Fingers crossed.

On the happy side - my daughter got a first in her dissertation and both daughters have new jobs which makes them happy so I'm happy :-)

Right now I have to work out where I'm going on holiday later this year :-)