Gosh it's been ages since I last posted anything ! So what has happened and how am I feeling since I last wrote ?
Well sadly I've acquired a health issue with muscles in my neck, arms and upper legs being painful and terrible stiffness behind my knees in the morning and if I sat for any length of time. It all started when I came back from my holiday after catching a cold from someone on the plane. At first I thought I had just hit the gym too hard but it got progressively worse. Eventually I went to the Doctor on 13th February. I was shocked when she said ' what do you want me to do ? ' She sent me for a blood test and then said to just take Ibuprofen for a couple of weeks if the results are clear (which they were thankfully). I rarely go to the Doctor and like to think I am a healthy person on the whole so this has really been frustrating for me. I had a really painful weekend at the beginning of March when I couldn't get out of bed and struggled to go to and come off the loo. I was almost in tears as the pain was so bad. So I got an emergency appointment with the Doctor and saw a lovely trainee Doctor who examined me and asked the history etc. The first Doctor didn't do this ! He arranged for me to have a shoulder and hip x-ray and then when they came back clear (again good not to have any arthritis or unusual wear and tear) he arranged to refer me to a Rheumatologist as he suspects Polymyalgia Rheumatica (PMR). I am now playing the waiting game as there were no appointments available and I could have to wait for 18 weeks ! I've been on ibuprofen now for nine weeks and have been in so much pain even with the pain killers. Exploring alternatives I started to take Devils Claw and have been paying to see an Osteopath. The Osteopath had me stop the gym and anything that may trigger the pain but has let me recently go back to Pilates. It is so frustrating as I had been doing six classes a week and walking and it went down to nothing for a few weeks :-( Exercise helps but I have been in lots of pain once my body cools down. The last few days I have begun to feel in a little less pain and more able to do things. But I dont know if I have had an episode of something that is going now, the Devils Claw kicking in or the manipulation by the Osteopath. They say when you've been through a traumatic event you can get ill a number of years later. I'm not convinced it is PMR as I dont have any other symptoms and no family history of any auto immune issues. Maybe I'm just in denial !
Despite the pain I have tried to keep myself busy but am not currently doing a show so finding that I don't really have a routine at the moment which is not great for me. Also I'm finding that I am out of the loop with many things and friends which also makes me sad. I've put on a little bit of weight which I hate but am struggling to lose it - probably because I am pretty sedentary at the moment.
I've been fortunate to go on a couple of weekends away with girl friends to a house in Suffolk and to Prague. Both great weekends but very different to each other.
I'm doing a bit more photography and enjoying that lots so am thinking I may create a web page to put some of my photos on. I put them up on facebook and often get lovely feedback from friends. Through this I have also made some great photography friends. Its nice to have like minded people to do things with.
I'm still off to the theatre regularly and have enjoyed some great shows.
My daughters are both doing well with the one at uni coming to the end of her study. She is job hunting at the moment and on writing has two interviews lined up. I am so proud of them both and feel very lucky to have them in my life :-)
Emotionally - I still have my good days and bad days. Bad days usually coincide with being on my own at home. I've tried the online dating again and had very little luck. I met up with one local guy whom I thought we got on quite well. Anyhow on his profile he had said 'spare tyres were non negotiable' and that was on my mind. After we last met (the third time) he didn't make contact again even not responding to a message from me to say thank you for the last meet up. Now I know not everyone is right for each other but it would have been courteous to have just said he wasn't feeling it rather than just stop. How rude and cowardly ! Again my confidence and self esteem has been knocked and online dating is not for me. I only went back on again to support a friend who had split with her husband and wanted to get into the dating game. She has had much more luck than me !!!
So I am obviously doing something wrong or am not going to meet anyone who likes me :-(
They say that when you can talk about a breakup without getting emotional then you are on the mend. I am getting there but it still hurts .....
