Wow - I hadn't realised how long its been since I last wrote - so what has happened in the last two months ?
Work : I'm slowly winding down. I have a few bits still to transition but most of what I had responsibility for I have recently passed on. I'm sad about some of it but I need to start to be less involved and think about what I'm going to do with my life come January. I have started to use the out placement company and have had an initial conversation with a financial advisor. I'll be going on am active retirement course and a start your own business course over the next month. I hope that these will help me with making some decisions.
My mind is in a real muddle as there is so much I could do but not all of it can or is likely to be paid. I have determined that I need to earn some money to enable me to do the things I want to such as travel, theatre trips etc. etc. So what should I do ? Someone at work suggested I become a life coach - so I'm thinking on that one. I'm feeling that next year is going to be another turning point and a new phase of my life - I hope its a positive one - I'm going to do my best to make it so :-)
I still have my down times and the friend who let me down recently has done it again so I'm not going to bother anymore. I do now have a new 'pen friend' who is one of the guys I met through a dating site. He and I seem to have a great connection but we have both decided that we are not looking for a relationship just now, but we are finding it helpful to have someone understanding to chat to. I've given up with dating sites - I had a few 'dates' with guys but didn't hear back from many of them after as well as some I started to chat to on line who seem to have just stopped. I think there is something wrong with what I say or do ! Its hard knowing what to say or do when you have been out of the dating business for over 30 years. I really need to get to know someone first as a friend and the dating sites kind of set some expectations right away. I've cancelled the subscription and am not actively going on to anymore.
I've just finished a Coursera course on happiness ;-) It was a very interesting and thought provoking course. I must get back to doing some mindfulness exercises on a regular basis.
I'm in a show again next week. I'm playing a part which involves lots of harmony singing which is a challenge for me. I've worked hard at it and was pleased when the MD said he thought I had done well, especially as he will only say so if he means it. I hope it goes well next week - its a shame tickets are not selling very well :-(
My eldest daughter moved out and into a flat with her boyfriend. Its odd not having her around but she needs to move on i her life and I understand that. My other daughter seems to be doing well with her Nursing degree and we have some great discussions and spend quality time together.
I was gutted this week to be told my booked trip to the Galapagos next year has been cancelled. This is the second time ! So I'm now on the hunt again for another trip. I am determined to go next year.
So how do I feel right now - scared, excited, chilled, thoughtful, confused, determined - but still alone....
