Well here I am alone, chilling and doing nothing again for another weekend. I just can't be bothered :-( I'm doing a lot of TV watching which I have never done before - what's happened to me ? I seem to have gone from hating being alone to its too much hassle to socialise. I do feel lonely still especially going to bed at night and getting up in the morning alone.
I started another set of counselling this week and on the way there thought that maybe I didn't really need it - boy was I wrong........ I still have loads of pent up emotion and sadness and feel very mixed up. I think I am moving on but tiny tiny baby steps. My husband came over not long after having been at the counselling session to take me through the letter he had got from his solicitor and to ask for money to pay the solicitor - all coming off the settlement. He noted he was back in debt again despite me giving him a large sum of money just before Christmas. He is still being very reasonable thankfully - I still miss his companionship and love him. I have come to the conclusion that I will always love him and will just have to learn to live this way.
Yesterday I went shopping with one of my daughters and managed to get into clothes a size smaller :-) I even bought something from Top Shop which I have never been able to do - only a little thing but it made me happy. I am smaller now that I have been for over 20 years !
My youngest daughter has another job now after being out of work for a month. She has decided that she is going back to study in September and so will be living with me supporting her for the next four years. It'll be nice knowing I still have one of my daughters around for a bit longer. My oldest daughter is taking about moving out with her boyfriend next year.
We've had some house dramas this week - on Monday my daughter left the bath to run and over flow. It came through the ceiling and light fittings. As I was at rehearsal they tried to get hold of me but as they couldn't they managed to get one of their friends who is an electrician over to sort out the electrics while clearing up the water. It doesn't look like there is too much damage thankfully. And then on Friday the kitchen door wouldn't open. I eventually managed to open it by taking the handle off and using a screwdriver to turn the mechanism. The barrel is broken. I've bought a new set to put on but no surprise its not that easy so at the moment I have a door with no handle. Luckily we don't need to shut the door !
Not looking forward to next week - valentines day ........
